I picked my mom up from the hospital on the 23rd, she was acting normal when we got home, even left with her boyfriend an hour later(I assume to get some drugs,) so I guess she's fine in some sense. The doctor was going to give her some blood thinners, but they did a blood test and determined it was too risky because of the drugs she's been doing. I can't wait until I get out of here. I'll be able to make it on my own somehow. Here lately, I haven't been able to go to sleep because anxiety hits me and it feels like a ton of bricks on my chest, and I keep having dreams of falling. I've been sitting on the roof a lot, so maybe that has something to do with it. I always think back to Sigmund Freud's theory of dreams are representations of unconscious desires, thoughts and motivations, which makes me think I'm subconsciously telling myself that I want to jump. Or I'm just a stupid teenager with dramatic tendencies. Also, my proms coming up, I don't think I'll go because of the expenses, all of my moneys been going into necessities as it should. And tons of cat food. Because Mr.Cat is actually a Mr.Pig.
To everyone that I hate to love, I'm sorry I am the way I am, and remain optimistic. We'll get out of the holes we've dug eventually. <3
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